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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:01 pm 
Sh33p Pig
Sh33p Pig
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A Blast from The Past

A Legion of Lawndale Heroes ‘Mini’, by Brother Grimace

Legion of Lawndale Heroes created by James Bowman

It went without saying that even an implied association with the Legion was worth much – and an actual relationship was money in the bank… lots and lots of money, as it turned out.

For the most part, the people who tried to take advantage of any perceived connection with the Legion were shut down very quickly – and the ones who managed to slip through were stomped on viciously, once their wrongdoing was brought to light. The Hanley brothers’ attempt to try and patent Jodie’s lithium-generation tech was viciously prosecuted (after using their powers to steal the formulas and schematics – people in the U. S. Government and other governments were un-amused to find that the system they developed with their powers could access almost any computer system), and Wind Lane ended up doing time after attempting to steal several of his siblings’ personal belongings from Legion Tower… items that were to be used to try and establish mystic ‘conduits’ in order to spy on the Legion.

Nevertheless, many individuals persisted… even the ones who should have known the error (and the folly) of their ways.

-from Inside The Tower, by K.M. Sherrie (Sherrie Klein)

I got you, Ferris. I have dreamed about this - and this time, you little bastard, I've got you right where I want you. How would you feel about another year at high school… under my close, personal supervision?

-Principal Rooney (to Ferris Bueller), from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

This ‘Mini’ takes place immediately after LLH Chapter Fourteen.

Miss Morgendorffer! Mister White! How wonderful it is to see the both of you!”

Quinn froze in mid-bite of a crunchy ring as the familiar voice rang out behind her; at her side, a pair of mini-eggrolls dropped from Jaime White’s suddenly-numb fingers.

“That’s not funny, Jaime.”

“That’s because it’s not me, Quinn.”

The two Legionnaires looked up from the table outside the Snackadium fast food queue – the newest eatery in the Lawndale Mall – as Angela Li moved around the table to stand before them.

“I’m glad to see that your activities with the Legion haven’t kept you from mingling with the public, Miss Morgendorffer! One might think that becoming a celebrity would cause a young person to take on airs, and choose to comport herself in that manner!”

Quinn would have given every cent in her wallet – including her Visa Infinite card – for the flashes of several camera phones taking her photo to not have happened at that moment. “I’m just the same girl I always, was, Ms. Li.”

“Nonsense! You are now a role model for the young people of Lawndale – and the world.” Li’s voice took on the feigned gravity both teens associated with her oft-repeated phrase… “It’s good to know that you have not allowed your good fortune to go to your head – and Mister White! I’m so proud to know that you also have joined the ranks of the Legion, and are on your way to being a fellow role model for your peers – demonstrating not just the leadership and excellence you showcased on the gridiron, but now, in life as well!”

Jaime wished that he were buried deep beneath a small, groaning mountain of Oakwood linemen, the life slowly oozing from him as the pain blanked out the feigned honey-soaked tones from Li.
“Thank you, Ms. Li.”

“I trust you’ve both heard that I have been reinstated as Principal – and our beloved school will be re-opening for the spring term, yes?”

That was when both teens saw the trap door opening.

“That’s good news.” Jaime saw the way Li glanced in Quinn’s direction, and threw himself on the grenade for her. “Will you be putting the football team together right away, or waiting until the summer, so they can start playing a normal season?”

The tiny, grateful smile on Quinn’s face was completely missed by Li, who looked at Jaime with absolute joy. “I’m so glad that you asked that, Mister White! Yes, not only will we be reconstituting our beloved Lawndale Lions football team, but the Superintendent believes that there should be several exhibition games! This will bring the student body of our school and our town great pride, and speak out to the nation about the reborn glory and the honor of-”

Li spoke the next words as if she were the Bishop of Rome himself, reciting the last words of Easter Mass. Lawndale High.”

At least Miss Barch won’t be there, Jaime thought very loudly. Oh, I’m sorry. Doctor Regulus. Either way – thanks, Quinn. Forget about the world owing you one – every guy in Lawndale owes you a free dinner at Chez Pierre, and if you ever want an escort to a dance, some special affair or babies, Mack should be the very first guy in line.

Jaime remembered the sight of Quinn in the sky like something straight out of mythology, the blinding, white-hot bolts of lightning that seemed to build upon themselves from a clear blue sky until her form came into view, tens of feet above the streets of Smallview as his fellow Legionnaires fought Barch…

Damn. Barch never stood a chance against her.

“I trust that means that you’ll be re-joining us at Lawndale High, then?”

Li’s hopeful expression grew more pronounced as Jaime leaned forward, his chin rested upon his right fist. “It would be nice to be in a Lions uniform again…”

“I’ll have to think about it,” Quinn spoke up, as Li’s gaze moved to rest upon her. “We’ve gotten GEDs for our studies at the tower – but it really would make Mom and Dad happy if they got to see me walk the stage and get my diploma.”

“Excellent!” It was all Li could do to not bounce about with joy. “Well – I’ll let you two enjoy your lunch, and your admirers to get back to attracting your attention! Good day!”

Li’s jaunty exodus from the area would have made both Legionnaires smile… if it had happened to anyone else. Instead, both were silent for several moments…

“Were you telling her the truth, Jaime? About wanting to be on the football team again?”


Jaime’s morose expression made Quinn reach out to stroke his hand – and several more flashes exploded around them, which neither Legionnaire really noticed
“You’d really want to go back to Lawndale?”

“No.” The young man’s tone was as tone-dead, and as final, as Daria when she was dead-set against something, Quinn noticed. “I’m never going to school there again. How about you?”

“What – without the Fashion Club to back me up, and all these baby-girl wannabes showing up, trying to get their Regina George on while the thots are just waiting for me to notice a boy so they can take him – oh, and then there’s all of the guys drooling and waiting for a shot, so they can nail me and brag about it online?”

Quinn stole one of Jamie’s mini-eggrolls and flipped it into her mouth. “Besides, Jane said that Mr. DeMartino and Miss Defoe aren’t going back – he’s writing and they have a baby – and they were the best teachers there.”

“Mr. O’Neill sure won’t be coming back,” Jaime agreed. “Maybe they’ll get a better English teacher this time?”

The cute redhead beside him grunted in disbelief. “They made her Principal again. Do you really think that they’ll waste money by bringing in competent people – somebody who can do a good job and who could probably replace her – if they went ahead and did that, even after ‘terrorists’ blew up the school?”

Both Legionnaires were silent for several seconds. “I wasn’t lying, you know.” Quinn finally spoke. “Mom and Dad would really like to see one of us go through a graduation ceremony.”

Jaime’s head popped up, a smile on his face. “Hey! Why don’t you ask Julia or Tiffany about seeing if you could manage to get into the Academy? They probably have a kick-ass graduation ceremony, you’d look good in a uniform, it would make your dad especially happy, from what you’ve said about him, and…”

Quinn cocked her head to one side as she looked at him in the most adorable manner. “What?”

Jaime’s smile grew larger. “There’s the obvious fringe benefits… you know, if you sprain a hair, or suffer a lip gloss malfunction… there’s someone you know there in pre-med, and, well, maybe you could zap up all of the rechargeable batteries in exchange for, well…”

“Well, what?”

Jaime’s smile could have lit up an underground cavern. “In exchange for preferential, bordering on gentle... possibly even lover-like treatment.”

Even people inside the Snackadium turned as Quinn tried in vain to suppress a very un-ladylike snort of mirth. “I knew that I shouldn’t have brought you along with me when we took Tiffany back to school. Martin Peters is a bad influence.”

“I needed to know that there are other dimensions out there – and that there are great movies in all of them,” he replied, as he ignored the way people kept looking at them. “I mean, who would have thought there’d be movies about the school the Colonel went to when he was our age?”

“Not exactly the same school – and thank God there’s not somebody like that Wade guy here.” Quinn shuddered. “We’d have to shoot him out in space, the same way we did that half-vampire lady.”

“See, that’s the problem with girls. They decide they don’t like someone, and then they get on that t-shirt that says ‘If we can send a man to the moon – why can’t we send them all?’”

Jaime smirked at her. “I think you just want to get rid of us guys to even out your odds.”

An elderly couple passed by the table as a French fry war started, and shook their heads in distaste. “That’s the problem with kids today,” the elderly woman said to her companion. “They get out in public today, they grow hormones, and then they act out in public as though they’re about to do things on the table in front of everyone! It’s shameful-!”


Because we know instinctively as a people that if we are to get through the darkness and back into the light we have to work together. And the truth is, there will always be darkness. And sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t the promised land. Sometimes it’s just New Jersey. But we do it anyway, together.

-Jon Stewart

"We have a right to fight for our country - the same as every other American. We will not go away."

-Col. A.J. Bullard (Terrence Howard), Red Tails

"If we can't protect the Earth - you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it."

-Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.), The Avengers

"Sometimes you have to spontaneously break into song - right?" - Mack, from Teen Beach 2

The PSI Corps is your friend. Trust The Corps.

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